I keep sitting down with the intention of assaulting you with another blog post, but something keeps happening and I end up not.  Sometimes the things that happen are actual things that happen and other times my mind just takes itself for a jaunt in some other direction and, before I know it, it's time for bed.

I spent a week in Germany, about a fortnight ago, for work.  It was a fairly uneventful week, but it got me thinking to the last time I spent a week in Germany for work.  The last time was maybe fifteen years ago.  Back then it seemed like a huge deal to go to Germany and I was completely outside of my comfort zone.  This time it was nothing.  It didn't bother me in the slightest.  I was driving up the autobahn without a single thought in my mind except for not missing my turn off.  I was asked if I would like to relocate to Germany and, for the first time in my life, I felt a pang of regret that I couldn't because I now had a family.  I wish I could plant my current mindset into myself back fifteen years ago and had a much vaster comfort zone than I did.  I should have been tearing up the ground in my twenties instead of faffing around in the university.

Anyway, I'm still full of venom so there's a lot to look forward to.  My company's offices in Germany is home to over 23,000 employees and its glorious.  Everything is huge, grand and spectacular.  They have a load of restaurants on site and everything is free.  They even have vending machines for things like AirPods, keyboards and such.  I love my job.

The pace of life is such that I can't focus on anything for more than a split second before its gone.  Not that there's a lot to focus on except for my daughter changing from a newborn to a fully fledged baby in the matter of a few months.  It actually feels like life has stood still because there's not much else happening except for prams, bottles, car seats and nappies.

She's developed her own little characteristics already.  I can't stand to close to her when she's being fed because she spies me and slowly starts to smile at me.  When she's smiling then she's not feeding.  She also plays her little piano toy with her feet.  I bought her the instrument - it has maybe six or seven big colourful keys which make a noise, and light up, when they're struck.  She doesn't have the strength, or manual dexterity, to hit them with her hands yet, but she can make a lot of noise with her feet; and she knows she's doing it.

The bottom line is that I love her more than I've ever loved another human being in my life.  My life has taken on a new meaning and I'm so thankful that we had her.  It does mean that everything else is a bit "fluid" right now, with the introduction of a little angel, but I'm hopeful everything will even out and settle down soon.

There's a large mug of cold coffee sitting on my desk.  It was sitting there, front and centre, as I walked into my study.  Whatever was going on yesterday, I left it with hardly a sip taken from it and, clearly, I never returned.

Sometimes that's how it is - something demands your attention and other things, which you would rather be doing (like drinking coffee) are forgotten about.  There are a few channels of YouTube that drive this point home.  Hipsters with cameras film themselves meandering through abandoned properties.  Some of these places still have the last occupant's belongings there.  TVs and magazines, clothes and food, all still sitting where they were left decades ago.  It saddens me to see this - someone's contentment ripped from them and all that's left are the traces of you for a snotty-nosed stranger to rummage through.

Of course the lesson is to maintain an awareness that, at any moment, you could get trampled by an elephant or develop a severely prolapsed anus.  We're all walking on a beautiful tightrope.  I suppose the sudden change could also be a good one.  You could stumble across a small fortune and decide that your foul coffee can bloody well get cold.  You're flying to the Mediterranean to buy a villa and a Ferrari.

At one point I thought I was never going to get this site back to normal again.  In a moment of madness, I had set everything to private but, as time passed, I realised how hasty I'd been and that people weren't actually reading this with bad intent.  I had a period of paranoia when I thought I was revealing too much of my personal business and that I was being foolish.

From the time that I set everything private, and up until today, a login component of the site had stopped working and nobody could login, including me.  Obviously I've fixed it and I'm glad that I have.  I hadn't realised what this little spec in cyberspace means to me.  I have thoroughly missed it.

Long may it last.

My daughter was born on 13th May at 6:58 am.  She weighed 8 lbs and we called her Jessica.  My bond with her was immediate and, as I leave to return to work today, I am struggling with the prospect of leaving her.  I know every little sound she makes and I have every one of her facial expressions mapped in my mind.  I envy my wife for getting the next 6 months with her.

That said, getting back to work will provide me with a healthy life balance and the time I spend with her will be richer.  Her mum will have many periods of exhaustion over the coming months and I suppose I'm getting off lightly by shirking the responsibility by jaunting off to work to sit in front of a fancy computer and drink fancier coffee.

We've heard horror stories from many people about how it is to look after a newborn child.  I've been told that it will slow me down and that I won't be capable of my usual high frequency work rate.  So far, this hasn't happened.  It hasn't happened because we created order from what is a chaotic situation.  Bottles are organised to perfection with everything in its place so that feeding time is executed to near perfection.  Winding the child has also been researched and we take steps to minimise the risk of Jessica swallowing air.  This reduces discomfort for her and means she's sleeping again fairly quickly after finishing her meal.

I'm not claiming to have worked out child rearing in the first fortnight.  What I am saying is that, like anything else, you can do things the hard way or you can plan a bit and do things a slightly easier way.  Everything is easier when you review a repetitive situation and plan a better way to deal with it.

Anyway, back to work it is.  I am somewhat looking forward to it.  What I'm not looking forward to is the undoubted deluge of emails that I will have to deal with at the beginning.  My fancy coffee should help me through though.

Logging in is now a thing.