I haven't had much to eat today, so I opened a packet of cookies I had in my desk.  I decided a cookie would go well with my coffee.  The problem is that I can't remember if I ate the entire cookie or if I set it down somewhere.  I've looked but it's not sitting somewhere obvious.  A little part of me hopes I left it down because I don't feel like I finished the cookie. I am unfulfilled, but I don't want to eat another cookie because my 6-pack is finally showing and it would be a shame to undo all that good work by eating excessive amounts of rubbish.

Being unfulfilled is a subtle but powerful feeling.  It's like you're getting something, which might be better than not getting it, but you're not getting enough.  It could be sleep, food, conversation, job satisfaction - anything.  There are times when nothing is better than a little because, with a little, you're getting towards fulfillment only for it to be cut short.  It would be like getting two gulps of coffee in the morning or half a slice of toast.  It would be better to have nothing.  Unfulfillment becomes an issue as you get older because you can't carry things through to excess like you can in your youth.  Everything gets moderated and you become more philosophical when you can't have what you want.  The problem is that blow-outs happen.  Well, I imagine they do because I've never reached that point with anything.  I can imagine, though, the desire to say "stuff it" and eat six cookies instead of one.  What it is to be young.  I can remember eating a full cake for lunch once.


Cake. Not for lunch.